(image from here)
I just got this book in the mail the other day and I'm completely blown away by it. It's like the author took every thought that's been in my head since I had my boys and wrote them all down in such a beautiful way that I can't stop wanting to read bits out loud.
Every page leaves me speechless and I'm nodding my head in agreeance so much that I'm glad I'm reading it at home and not on a train.
Anyways, it's written by a women called Rachel Power. She's a writer and a mum and amazingly to me, she understands the internal struggle between my artist self and my mummy self. You can find out more about her and the book here.
Here's one of my favourite bits so far....
"For most artist-mothers (a term I use merely for convenience, aware that it is not ideal), their domestic and creative lives seem to co-exist in irresolvable discord, each vying for their undivided attention. How to negotiate the artist's need for continual self-realisation with the child's persistent demand for selflessness? Like a magnet, simultaneously repelled and attracted, to be a mother is to be mired in contradiction. We can love our children while resenting their impact on our lives; our bodies sing out for theirs when we are away from them, yet our minds can strain away in boredom and frustration when they are near."
It amazes me because it's made me realise how self-indulgent my adult life was before I had kids. Sure I worked but only between the hours of 8-4. Other than that I painted and drew and partied my life away. If a painting had me particularly captivated, I'd organise a day off so I could work on it. The luxury of that astounds me now.
I feel like just having all my feelings acknowledged is making me feel more relaxed. This way that I feel is completely real. I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I will be able to spend hours painting again, oneday when they don't need me so much and in the mean time Oogabooga and his friends will just have to do.
So yeah, it's a good book. I recommend it to anyone who struggles with that insatiatable drive to create and grow nice kids too!